"An Italian in America" joke

Hot 1 year ago

(must be read with an Italian or other foreign accent)
One day ima gonna America to bigga hotel.
Inna morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: 'Peace on you.'
I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.

Q: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
A: Snowballs!

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...

One day a girl went to church to make a confession
GIRL: Forgive me father for I have sined
PRIEST: What have you done my child
GIRL: I called a man a son of a bitch
PRIEST: Why did you call him a son of a bitch
GIRL: Caused he touched my hand
PRIEST: more...

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
dodo the one and onl:ach was haen wir gestern in schüner kleinen runde gelacht. super
0
0
(0)
Anonym:i loved it and it´ll be always my favorite joke
Funny Joke? 38 vote(s). 58% are positive. 2 comment(s).