Urdu Jokes

An elderly Punjabi admitted in the intensive care department of a hospital made a request that he should be allowed to take lessons in Urdu. The doctor in charge was very puzzled and asked him the reason why.' Urdu is the language of angels,' replied the Punjabi.' If I die I want to be able to converse with all the houris I will meet in Paradise.'
'How can you be sure you will go to heaven?' asked the doctor.' You may go down to hell, then what good will the Urdu you call the language of angels be to you?'
'That will be no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi.'

Firaq Gorakhpuri, the doyen of Urdu shairi, is often pestered by aspiring poets to write prefaces for their works. One such poet who was oversure of himself approached Firaq and by way of self-introduction said:' Firaq Sahib, my poems have been published in all the leading Urdu magazines and journals in the country. No doubt you must have read many of them.'
Firaq replied: All these magazines and journals you speak of also carry advertisements of medicines to cure piles; do you expect me to have read all these?' (Incidentally, Firaq suffered from piles and some of his jokes are about the pain they caused him in his fundament.)
Once at a mushaira, while other poets were reciting their compositions, the cord of Firaq's pajama snapped. When his turn came, he proceeded to recite while sitting down. The crowd clamoured.' Please get up and come to the mike.' Firaq stayed glued to his takia and replied,' Khawateen-o-Hazrat (ladies and gentlemen), the cord of my pajama has snapped. more...