Tyson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What did Mike Tyson say to his girlfriend?
A: I'm EARresistable

NO. 10
Tyson already has his next fight lined up, with Lorena Bobbitt. Winner eats all.
NO. 9
This gives new meaning to "box lunch."
NO. 8
Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear?" Holyfield: "What?"
NO. 7
Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily canceled - John Corl, Rochester, N.Y.
NO. 6
What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"
NO. 5
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory
NO. 4
Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal Lecter, with Julia Child to referee. To be held in Hungary. Billed as, "The snackfest in Budapest."
NO. 3
How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
NO. 2
Slogans for Tys * The T * Da * * Ear-Reconcilable Differences

NO. 1
When interviewed after the fight, Tyson's first remarks were that more...

A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, “Your Eminence, do we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread.... ’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.... ’ we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church. ”
The Pope responds saying, “That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed. ”
“Well, ” says the Tyson man, “we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread.... ’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.... ’”
Again, the Pope replies, “That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed. ”
Finally, the Tyson guy says, “This is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer
from ‘give us this day our daily bread... ’ to ‘give us more...

Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?
It has two bytes and no memory.

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:
10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"
9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters
7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith
5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"
4. Ears is tasty
3. It was self-defense - he wouldn't stop punching me!
2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring"
1. He ran out of gum

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious! 6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith 5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"4. Ears is tasty3. It was self-defense - he wouldn't stop punching me! 2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring" 1. He ran out of gum

Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!