Tendencies Jokes

If your child thinks he wants 'Murderous Bob, the Doll with
the Face you can Rip Right Off,' you'd better get it. You may
be worried that it might help to encourage your child's
antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen anti-
social tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced
that he or she did not get the right gift. -Dave Barry
Sometimes people ask me: 'Dave, what is the essence of
parenthood?' I always answer: 'Lowering your standards.' -Dave Barry
It goes without saying that you should never have more
children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck
One of my more effective parental strategies is to make Lists of Rules to be Obeyed And I Really Mean it This Time, and post these articles on the refrigerator in the kitchen so my children will have a written record of what they are ignoring. -W. Bruce Cameron
A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.
-Carolyn more...

It was announced today that liberalism may be genetically determined. A lengthy article in the current issue of "HEY !" threatens to overshadow the announcement by Government scientists that there might be a hidden dormant gene for compassion in men.
Reports of the gene codes which predispose one to liberal views were discovered after a long study in Brite Orange County CA, has sent shock waves through medical, political and yuppie communities.
Psychologists have long believed the "off-the-wall" liberals' unnatural and frequently unconstitutional radical tendencies resulted from an unhealthy family life - a remarkably high percentage of liberals had whimpy and submissive fathers, as well as latent lesbian mothers who didn't teach them traditions at all. Biologists have long suspected that liberal tendencies are inherited. "After all" said one author of the article, "It's quite common for such a free spirit to have a brother or sister who also more...