Tartan Jokes

Sandy McTavish was walking the Macy's basement sale when, before his
eyes on the sale table, was a bolt of the McTavish tartan! He'd been
in New York for about six years and his kilt showed it, so the need
was there, the price was right and he approached the sales clerk (you'll
have to supply your own Scottish burr).
"Lassie, Ey'd like a yayrd an a haf o' the McTavish tartin"
"Beg your pardon sir?"
"Yaryrd an a haf o' the McTavish tartin, I'm needin' a new kilt"
"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to show me the material you mean"
So he walked her over to the sale table and showed her what he wanted.
"Sorry sir, that plaid only comes in three yard lengths"
"Ya dunna understand lassie, I dunna need three yayrds, I need a yayrd an a haf"
"I'm sorry sir, you don't understand, that plaid comes in three yard lengths,
why not take a yard and a half, make your kilt, and take the other more...