Summit Jokes / Recent Jokes

Scenario: International Summit in Paris.
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton & Ernesto Zedillo (Mexican President).
The waiter ask "le apperitive?"
All of them answer "oui!"
The waiter looks at Zedillo "Le tequila?"
Zedillo: "oui!"
The waiter looks at Yeltsin "Le vodka?"
Yeltsin: "oui!"
Finally the waiter looks at Clinton "Le whisky?"
Clinton: "DON'T MENTION THAT BITCH"

“Joint Chiefs of Staff [Chair] Peter Pace is leaving his job. He’s the one who announced that all homosexual acts are immoral, and so is adultery. No wonder he left. He attacked all the members of Congress. ” –Jay Leno
“Paris Hilton is behind bars, but still no word on Osama. ” –David Letterman
“By a vote of 93-5, the Louisiana state House has voted to make it illegal for teachers to have sex with their students. Here’s my question: Who are the five people who voted for it? ” –Jay Leno
“Yesterday at the G8 Summit, Russian President Vladimir Putin offered to let President Bush build a missile defense system in Azerbaijan. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, ‘I believe the correct pronunciation is Abracadabra. ’” –Conan O’Brien
“There seems to be tension between President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Again, President Bush thinks this is good. He thinks a new Cold War could help end global warming. ” –Jay more...

clever creatures
A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground
squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down
a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and a locksmith was called to make new car keys.
putting our loved ones at risk for a photo
In May of 1994, Tony Moore, 43, of Marietta, Georgia, was gored and seriously injured by a large male
bison in Yellowstone, next to the Lake Hotel. Moore and a friend had approached to within 15 feet of
the bison to have their pictures taken. While they were standing with their backs to the animal, it
charged. Moore's companion escaped, but Moore received a severe puncture wound in his right thigh and
was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Jackson for treatment.
watching for falling rocks
A visitor setting up camp at Lake more...