Statisticians Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: This should be determined using a nonparametric procedure, since statisticians are not normal.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Walt Pirie to hold the bulb and one psychologist, one economist, one sociologist and one anthroplogist to pull away the ladder.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, once you've managed to present the problem in terms he/she is familiar with.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One. He gives it to six Oregonians, thereby simplifying the problem to the previous question.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: This should be determined using a nonparametric procedure, since statisticians are not normal.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Walt Pirie to hold the bulb and one psychologist, one economist, one sociologist and one anthroplogist to pull away the ladder.
Q: How many Union Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seventeen - One to give the bulb to the screw-inner. One more...
A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.Did you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? 80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot.According to a recent survey, 33 of the people say they participate in surveys.Q: What do you call a statistician on drugs? A: A high flyer.Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1-3, alpha = .05There is no truth to the allegation that statisticians are mean. They are just your standard normal deviates.Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees? A: It's referred to as the log scale.Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course? A: He improved his confidence from .95 to .99.Q: Why don't statisticians like to more...
Anthropologists do it with culture.
Archeologists do it with mummies.
Architects do it late.
Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl.
Bayseians probably do it.
Boy Scouts do it in the woods.
C++ programmers do it with class.
C++ programmers do it with private members and public objects.
Carpenters do it tongue in groove.
Chemists do it in the fume hood.
Chemists do it in test tubes.
Chess players mate better.
City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
Computer Operators do it upon mount requests.
Deprogrammers do it with sects.
Economists do it with indifference.
Electricians do it until it Hertz!
Engineers do it with precision.
Entomologists do it with insects.
Evangelists do it with Him watching.
Firemen do it wearing rubber.
Firemen do it with a big hose.
Firemen find 'em hot, and leave 'em wet!
Gyneacologists mostly sniff, watch and finger.
Hypertrichologists do it with more...
A new government 10 year survey cost $3, 000, 000, 000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population. According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority. Did you know that 87. 166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? 80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot. According to a recent survey, 33 of the people say they participate in surveys. Q: What do you call a statistician on drugs? A: A high flyer. Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1-3, alpha =. 05There is no truth to the allegation that statisticians are mean. They are just your standard normal deviates. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees? A: It's referred to as the log scale. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course? A: He improved his confidence from. 95 to. 99. Q: Why don't more...
Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York. Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to new York. At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, "Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!"