Sonny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!

As a door-to-door salesman approached a house on his route, he saw a small boy sitting on the porch reading a book.

"Hi, sonny," he said. "Is your Mommy home?"

"Yes, sir," the boy replied, and went back to reading.

The salesman rang the doorbell several times, then resorted to knocking on the door. After 15 minutes of this with no response, he turned to the boy.

"Hey, sonny," he said, "I thought you told me your Mommy was home."

"I did, Mister," the boy replied, "As a matter of fact, I see her watching you right now from our living room window across the street."

One of the elderly residents on the porch hollered, "Sonny,
what are you going to do with that manure?"
The farmer replied, I'm going to put it on my strawberries."
The old man said, "Well, Sonny, then you should eat here. Around
here, we put whipped cream on our strawberries!"

The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city.
When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what!
Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the
room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and
then Daddy got on top of her..."
Sonny's mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father
comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."
The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm
leaving you. I'm packing now and I'm leaving you."
"But why-" asked the startled father.
"Go ahead, Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me."
"Well," Sonny said, "I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came
upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and
Daddy got on top of her more...

The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and then daddy got on top of her..."
Sonny's mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."
The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm leaving you. I'm packing now and I'm leaving you."
"But why-" asked the startled father.
"Go ahead, Sonny. Tell daddy just what you told me."
"Well," Sonny said, "I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and then they did just what you more...

This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing. Two old timers who was always setting on the dock thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, " Son when I first got married me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed... well you know!"The new groom said, "well, normally that's what I would do, But she... well, she's got gonorrhea." The second old man said, " well son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? everybody's doing it these days." The groom says, "yes I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea." The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice. "Sonny, in times like this you just more...

Two Virginia boys, Sonny and Rick, went out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the bushes and, by mistake, shot his friend. After trying to remove the bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor. Two hours later, after the physician had patched up the wounded hunter, Sonny asked, "Please, Doc. How's my friend?" "Well," answered the M.D., "he'd be a lot better off if you hadn't taken out his gut!"