Somehow Jokes / Recent Jokes

WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENIS
Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this more...

WHY E-MAIL IS LIKE A PENISSome folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others more...

It seems this fairly successful businessman in his early 30's was
getting lonely for some companionship. He was comfortably well off, lived in
a nice apartment, had refined tastes, but somehow or other he could never find
the perfect companion. Finally, he had an inspiration.
So our friend strolls into a pet shop and explains his problem to the
sympathetic clerk. The clerk thinks for a moment, then says, "I have the
perfect pet for you, sir," disappears into the back of the shop, and emerges
with
a small cardboard box. The gentleman opens the box, but, instead of finding a
dog or a cat, discovers a frog.
"A frog?" he asks disbelievingly.
"Ah," says the salesman, "but not just any frog. I really think you'll
be surprised with this pet. May I suggest you take it home for a trial. If it
does not meet with your satisfaction, feel free to bring it back within a week
for a full refund."
Well, more...

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of more...