Shammes Jokes

The fast
One Yom Kippur during the break after shacharis and before mincha, Rabbi Menzies sees a very worried looking Morry Schwartz walking towards him. His face is white and his eyes are bloodshot. He stands in front of the Rabbi, sweating and out of breath.
"Please Rabbi," he says, "I must have a drink of water. I`m so thirsty and dry. I can’t stand it any more."
Rabbi Menzies is astonished and replies, "Don`t you realise what you are asking? Today is Yom Kippur, when we fast and beg for forgiveness, and you come to me and tell me that want to drink and break your fast? Be strong and do not give in!"
Morry is in tears, "Please Rabbi, just a small drink. I can`t take it anymore!"
But Rabbi Menzies is not an unkind man, and is touched by Morry’s suffering. He thinks for a while and says "Alright." He calls over the shammes, "give Morry a teaspoon of water."
The teaspoon of water is given to more...

It is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. As the day draws
to a close, in a small synagogue in Vilna, the rabbi is praying
fervently. "Oh, God," he says, "I am nothing before you!" The cantor
also says, "Oh, God, I am nothing before you!" Then the shammes,(*)
inspired by their piety, cries out, "Oh, God, I am nothing before
you!" The cantor raises his eyebrows, looks at the rabbi, and says,
"Nu, look who thinks he's nothing!"
(*)shammes: beadle, responsible for maintaining the synagogue, ushering, etc.