Shaken Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.Waiter:I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike" for the slogan 'Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers' because 'It Really Satisfies'.The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?"Other customer: Timex! First guy: Why Timex? Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin! A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right.First guy:What's the name of your penis? Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately? Even more...

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but says "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says "Look, I'm just not into that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis."
So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer,"Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The gentleman with a smile looks back and says "Timex."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a margarita. "So,
what do you call your penis?" The other gentleman turns to him and proudly exclaims
"Ford."
The more...

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags! "The four men didnt wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the drivers seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as more...

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. Waiter: I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called' Nike" for the slogan' Just Do It' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his' Snickers' because' It Really Satisfies'. The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?" Other customer: Timex! First guy: Why Timex? Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin! A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right. First guy: What's the name of your penis? Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately? more...

An Elderly Lady Did Her Shopping And, Upon Returning To Her Car, Found Four Males In The Act Of Leaving With Her Vehicle. She Dropped Her Shopping Bags, Drew Her Handgun, And Proceeded To Scream At Them At The Top Of Her Voice, "I Have A Gun And I Know How To Use It! Get Out Of The Car, You Scumbags!"

The Four Men Didn't Wait For A Second Invitation, But Got Out And Ran Like Mad.

The Lady, Somewhat Shaken, Proceeded To Load Her Shopping Bags In The Back Of The Car And Get Into The Driver's Seat. She Was So Shaken That She Could Not Get Her Key Into The Ignition. She Tried And Tried, To No Avail.

And Then It Dawned On Her Why.

A Few Minutes Later, She Found Her Own Car Parked Four Or Five Spaces Farther Down. She Loaded Her Bags Into Her Car And Drove To The Police Station.

The Sergeant To Whom She Told The Story Nearly Tore Himself In Two With Laughter And Pointed To The Other End Of The Counter, Where Four Pale Males more...