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When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal." The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon. "Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, "Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog." "Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut." "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read, "Yankee Kills Family Pet."

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal." The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town. "Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say,' Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'." "Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut." "In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read,' Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."

A man was in New York`s central park, when a dog went wild and attacked a young boy.
The man was able to grab the dog by the neck, pulling it off the boy and choking it to death. A reporter for the NY Times comes to interview him, congratulating him on his act of heroism.
He suggests the headline: "New Yorker saves the life of a young boy!";
But, the man told him; I`m not from NY.
Ok, then how about: "American hero saves the day."
But, the man told him “I`m not American”.
Then, where are you from? Asked the reporter.
I`m from Pakistan, the man answered.
The next day the headlines read: "MUSLIM FUNDAMENTALIST STRANGLES DOG IN CENTRAL PARK. FBI INVESTIGATING POSSIBLE LINKS TO AL QAEDA"...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, more...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument
about who was better on his computer. They had been going at
it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the
bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a
test that will run two hours and I will judge who does
the better job."
So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and
typed away. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.
They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They downloaded. They
did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every
known job. About ten minutes before their time was up,
lightning flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain
poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan
stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word
known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them
rebooted their computers. Satan started searching
frantically, more...

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he Sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:' Brave American saves life of little girl'"? the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!"? says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.