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    Mother-in-law

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Mother-in-law decides to see if her three son-in-law's love her or at least appreciate her...
    The next day while strolling along the river with her first son-in-law, she lets herself fall into the water and starts to drown.
    Without hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in the river and saves his mother-in-law.
    The next day, in front of his house, he finds a new car, a City Honda, with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.
    She undertakes the same scenario with her second eldest son-in-law. This one too, dives into the river and saves his mother-in-law. The next day, he too, in front of his house, finds a new car: the same City Honda with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.
    The same scenario occurs with the third son-in-law, she falls in the water and starts to drown. He watches his mother-in-law drown while thinking to himself: I've been waiting a long time for this!
    The next day, in more...

    More Religion Quotes

    Hot 3 years ago

    I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.

    A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

    Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

    Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich.

    Why settle for the lesser of two evils?

    Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic...

    Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra

    Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer

    A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.

    As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

    In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at themselves and said, "We good." And God saw it was too late.

    Televangelists: The Pro more...

    Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

    Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
    Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
    So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
    Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
    Satan started searching frantically, more...

    Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument
    about who was better on his computer. They had been going at
    it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the
    bickering.
    Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a
    test that will run two hours and I will judge who does
    the better job."
    So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and
    typed away. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.
    They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They downloaded. They
    did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every
    known job. About ten minutes before their time was up,
    lightning flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain
    poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan
    stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word
    known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
    The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them
    rebooted their computers. Satan started searching
    frantically, more...

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