Saves Jokes / Recent Jokes
I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.
Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich.
Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic...
Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer
A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at themselves and said, "We good." And God saw it was too late.
Televangelists: The Pro more...
A Mother-in-law decides to see if her three son-in-law's love her or at least appreciate her...
The next day while strolling along the river with her first son-in-law, she lets herself fall into the water and starts to drown.
Without hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in the river and saves his mother-in-law.
The next day, in front of his house, he finds a new car, a City Honda, with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.
She undertakes the same scenario with her second eldest son-in-law. This one too, dives into the river and saves his mother-in-law. The next day, he too, in front of his house, finds a new car: the same City Honda with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.
The same scenario occurs with the third son-in-law, she falls in the water and starts to drown. He watches his mother-in-law drown while thinking to himself: I've been waiting a long time for this!
The next day, in more...
Johnny and Kip were playing hockey at Forest Park skating rink. Suddenly a vicious pit bull came up and attacked Kip. Instead of panicking, Johnny sneaked up behind the dog, stuck his hockey stick in the dog's collar, and broke the dog's neck.
A reporter from St. Louis heard about what had happened with the boy and he went to the Johnny's house to him. He asked Johnny how all of this happened, and Johnny told him. Then he asked Johnny if he could write about him, and Johnny said sure. So the reporter pulled out his notepad and started writing, "Blues fan from St. Louis saves friend from vicious dog."
Johnny said, "I'm not a Blues fan."
So the reporter started writing again. "Cardinals fan from St. Louis saves friend from dog."
Johnny said, "I'm not a Cardinals fan either."
The reporter finally asked, "What the hell are you a fan of?"
Johnny said, "I'm a Detroit Redwings fan."
The reporter more...
When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.
A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."
The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say,' Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read,' Yankee Kills Family Pet'."