Repeated Jokes / Recent Jokes

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with
shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and then waved to the two aliens as they took off. "Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally
uttered. "Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?" "Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!" "Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?" "Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!" The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for five years. Of more...

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.
"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.
"Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?"
"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"
The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for five more...

A Catholic man was friendly with a Jewish man, so when his son became a priest, he was eager to share the good news with his friend. "My son just entered the priesthood!" he told his Jewish friend excitedly.

"Ehhh. .. that's nice," the Jewish man said with complacency.

"Don't you get it. .. he could one day become a monsignor," the Catholic insisted.

"Mmm. .. that's nice," the Jewish man repeated, maddeningly unenthusiastic.

"But one day he might become a bishop!"

"That's nice."

"An archbishop! My son. .. my little boy. .. could one day be an archbishop!" the Catholic man exclaimed, frustrated by his friend's utter lack of zeal for the news.

"An archbishop. .. that's nice."

"A cardinal. My boy, my boy who you knew when he was just a little squirt, he could be a cardinal some day maybe."

"That's more...

The preacher's Sunday service focused on 'forgiving your enemies'. After a lengthy sermon, he asked his congregation how many of them were willing to forgive their enemies. Only about half of them held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another half an hour, then repeated his question. This time, he received a response of 90 percent.
Still not satisfied, he lectured for several more minutes and repeated his question again. Growing weary, everyone responded except for one old gentleman in the rear.
"Mr. Hudson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the preacher bellowed.
"I don't have any," answered the old man.
"Mr. Hudson, that is most unusual. How old are you?" inquired the preacher.
"I'm 93," the old man replied.
"Mr. Hudson, please come up to the front and explain to the congregation how a man can live to be ninety-three years old and not have an enemy in the world," more...

A teacher came into a class and told the students, "Class we have a new student... go on tell us your name".
The boy replied "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
The teacher said, "What!!!".
The boy repeated "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
The teacher said, "Go to the principal's office".
When he got there, the principal said, "Whats your name son?"
"I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-ur-ass-from-tree-to-tree," the boy answered.
The principal said "What!!!".
The boy repeated "I'm-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I'll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree".
"Go home and stay there for 5 days," the principal said.
While he was going home, a policeman stopped him and said, "Shouldn't you be at school?".
"They told me to go home" the boy replied.
"Just tell me your more...