Petty Jokes

A husband and wife were having a petty argument and both were unwilling to admit they might be in the wrong.
In an attempt to reconcile, the wife said, "I'll admit I'm wrong, if you'll admit I'm right."
The husband agreed and, being a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," the wife said.
"You're right!" the husband replied, with a twinkle in his eye.

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.

Egos inflated they pass through the world
Preening their sense of self important worth
Petty and sharp, compassionless and strong,
They prick and stab at all who cause them itch
Brightly, they score off all they feed upon
No love is lost on any but themselves
But no one loves them, they antagonise
All who would call them friend or fraternise
When young, and caring not whom they offend,
Of their aloneness they are unaware,
They flit unfeeling, into middle age
And find, in time of sadness, no one there
As no one measures up unto themselves
“Fool, moron, idiot and dolt” they scream,
Pathetic, desperate, fearfully they search,
And wonder why no love comes to their heart
They have not learned the faux pas to forgive
The petty slip must oft be overlooked
One might win battles, but the war is lost
The shining wit will not supply warm comfort
Copy Rights,
Nishan /

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven. Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."