Pen Jokes / Recent Jokes
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.
Money isn't everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
The old Navy Chief finally retired and got that chicken ranch he always wanted. He took
with him his life-long pet parrot.
First morning at 0430, the parrot squawked loudly and said, “Reveille, Reveille. Up all
hands. Heave out and trice up. The smoking lamp is lighted, now Reveille. ”
The old chief told the parrot, “We are no longer in the Navy. Go back to sleep. ”
The next morning, the parrot did the same thing. Chief told the parrot, “If you keep this up, I'll put you out in the chicken pen. ”
Again the parrot did it, and true to his word, the Chief put the parrot in the chicken pen.
About 0630 the next morning, the Chief was awakened by one heck of a ruckus in the chicken pen. He went out to see what was the matter. The parrot had about 40 white chickens at attention in formation, and on the ground laid 3 bruised and beaten brown chickens. The parrot was saying, “By God, when I say fall out in dress whites, I don't
mean Khakis! more...
During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U. S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ballpoint pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U. S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at itcause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "Its made in Germany". I said, "Thats too bad, I cant use it then". The clerk said, "Whats the matter? You dont like German pens?"I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn`t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin` good" came out as more...
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn’t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la.
Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le, ” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth. ”
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” came out as “Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead. ”
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as more...