Painter Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An eager, but less than bright, young entrepreneur decides to
    go into the painting business. So he wanders into the rich part
    of town, paint brush in hand, and knocks at the door of a
    large house.
    "Good day, sir. I was wondering if you had any painting you
    need done."
    The owner of the house, a rich man by any standard, looks
    speculatively at the painter. He perceives a vibrant
    entrepreneurial spirit, which reminds him of his own ambition
    in his younger days.
    "Hmmm. Yes, I think my porch needs a coat or two of paint."
    The eager young painter rushes off around the side of the house...
    Several hours later, he returns to the front door, his clothes
    dripping paint, and knocks again.
    "Sir, I've finished! But I have to tell you, that wasn't a porch, it
    was a Ferarri."

    Green Side Up

    Hot 1 year ago

    A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about a job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out
    "GREEN SIDE UP!"
    In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
    In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
    The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
    "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

    One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.
    When he arrived, they didn't have any painters available, but they did have a gynecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.
    A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters, but instead he asked for the gynecologist again.
    The clerk asked, "Why do you want a gynecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?"
    He said, "Two weeks ago when I hired the gynecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I'll be damned if that gynecologist didn't stick his hand through the mail slot and paint the whole house!"

    A painter had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings he had created.
    He worked day and night, stopping only occasionally for something to eat. He thought little about food and less about sleep. But what he thought about least of all was his rent.
    As a result, his landlord now stood before him, demanding the three months' rent the painter owed on the loft.
    "Give me a couple of weeks," teh painter pleaded. "I know I'm on the verge of making some sales."
    "Absolutely not," the landlord said. "You gave me that story last month. You won't get another day's credit from me."
    "Look," the painter said, "think of it as an investment. Someday this loft will be famous, and you'll be able to charge a fortune for it.
    In a few years, people will come into this disgusting loft and whisper, 'That great painter used to paint here.'"
    "Pay your rent now," the landlord more...

    A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
    In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
    In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
    The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
    "I'm sorry," came the reply."But I have a crew of engineers laying sod across the street.

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