Painter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa Was Delighted With The Way The Painter Had Done All The Work On His House.
"You Did A Great Job." He Said And Handed The Man A Check.
"Also, In Order To Thank-You, Here`S An Extra Five Hundred Rupees To Take The Mrs Out To Dinner And A Movie."
Later That Night, The Doorbell Rang And It Was The Painter.
Thinking The Painter Had Forgotten Something Santa Asked, "What`S The Matter, Did You Forget Something?"
"Nope." Replied The Painter. "I`M Just Here To Take Your Mrs Out To Dinner And A Movie Like You Asked."

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, as a bonus, here's an extra $80 to take the Mrs. out to dinner and a movie."

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?"

"Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your Mrs. out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.

In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture' Soldiers at Work'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"

One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.
When he arrived, they didn't have any painters available, but they did have a gynecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.
A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters, but instead he asked for the gynecologist again.
The clerk asked, "Why do you want a gynecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?"
He said, "Two weeks ago when I hired the gynecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked with nobody home. But I'll be damned if that gynecologist didn't stick his hand through the mail slot and paint the whole house!"

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture' Soldiers Work jokes'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"

Guidry called in Plotke, the painter, for an estimate to paint his house. "How much you gonna charge me?" asked Guidry. "Twenty dollars an hour," replied Plotke. "Good Lord!" exclaimed the home owner. "I wouldn't pay Michelangelo that price!" "I tell you one thing, mister," said the painter. "If that guy you mentioned is doin' the job for less, he ain't no member of our union!"