Monk Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Copies of Copies (adult)

    Hot 4 years ago

    A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
    The head monk said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
    Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. He heard a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying. He asked what was wrong.
    "The word is 'celebrate'," said the head monk.

    This Zen Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vender, "Give me one with everything". So the vender makes him a hotdog with everything, hands it to the Buddhist Monk. The Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill, the vender takes it, puts it in his cash register and shuts the door. The Buddhist says, "Wait, where's my change?" The vender replies, "Change must come from within".

    Importance of Accuracy

    Hot 4 months ago

    A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply... "The word is 'CELEBRATE!"

    New Horse

    Hot 1 year ago

    Here are two versions of the same story-
    A certain man was passing through a small town and wanted to upgrade his mode of transportation. So he looked all around this small town he was in and found that the only place he could buy a faster means of transportation was at the local monastery. They had a horse for sale there for quite a deal. When the man was leaving the monastery with his new horse the monk that was sold him the horse said "Now all you have to remember is- When you want the horse to move all you need to say is 'Hallelujah' and when you want it to stop say 'Amen.'" The man then gave the monk a half acknowledged nod and continued on his way.
    After several miles the man sneezed and spooked the horse. The horse started running faster and faster. Then the man noticed a cliff ahead of him and stared to panic and said a prayer when the traveler said "Amen" the horse stopped right on the edge of the cliff. Then the man shouted and Praised God saying more...

    crazy nuns!

    Hot 4 years ago

    In medieval europe- sometime in the 1300's- there were
    monastaries that made wax candles
    One monotonous day, a brother monk, as he was in the process of
    making his candles, began to feel a bit squeemish as he had
    never been with a lady.
    So the monk slipped out his pee pee and proceded to masturbate.
    Many other monks witnessed what he was doing and began feeling
    a tad bit squeemish themselves. Many of the fellow monks also
    pulled out their wankers and proceded to giz into the wax.
    Before they knew it, candle making became the newest hobby around
    the monistary.
    Eventually the monks were caught, and were charged with being
    heretics by the inquisition- no true believer in God would ever
    try to seek earthly pleasures... so all were tortured to death.
    Meanwhile, the candles, that were made by the monks in the
    nearby monastary, were distributed all over Europe.
    It was just around that same time that a terrible more...

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