Mathematical Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number -- room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
SM: Yes, I wonder what be wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.
SM: It is not working.
SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.
So the man decided to go after Sister Logical and Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried more...

Two nuns went out of their convent for a walk. One of them is
known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known
as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they were still
far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the
past half-hour?
SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the
most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one
minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way
and I'll go this way. He cannot follows us both. So the man
decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried more...

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to have his way with us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.
SM: It is not working.
SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.
So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the more...

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and, K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% .
..And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you:
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While, hard work and knowledge will get you close, more...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical more...

Have you all stopped to think where you fit in this equation? From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here?? s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%And, B-U-L-L-S-H-*-T21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%AND, look how far ass kissing will take you: A-S-S?? K-I-S-S-I-N-G1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = a whopping 118%!!!! So one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close and Attitude more...