Liberals Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE ORIGINAL VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.MODERN CANADIAN VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to more...

According to a Syracuse University professor, liberals are losing their base because 80% of children vote as their parents vote and, "Conservatives have more children than liberals."
He added, "Women hoping to preserve their abortion rights should do so by not exercising them."

Rush Limbaugh announced the following on his TV show, June 29. It was reprinted in the July 1, {Washington [DC] Times}. He stated that with all the attacks on the "religious right" by the liberals, it was time to find out what their agenda was, so without further delay, here is
The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left (in no particular order):
Thou shalt have no other God except thyself, after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
Thou shalt not make any gravn image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
Remember the anniversaries of {Roe v. Wade} and Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
Honor thy mother. If she's dysfunctional, it's thy father's fault.
Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms more...

Q: What's the dumbest thing you can do with e-mail?
A: Ask Christopher James Reincke about his message to President Clinton:
"I am curious, Bill, how you would feel about being the first president to be killed on the same day as his wife... You will die soon..."
He signed it "Overlord." Sure he sent it anonymously, but anonymous e-mail is for protecting yourself from nasty, late-night phone calls, not the Secret Service.
With help from the university, they tracked him down and arrested him. He was released without bail, pending a hearing, and faces five years in jail and up to a $250,000 fine. Don't try this at home.
(Interned World, July/August, 1994: 17)
Which of the following are true about Christopher James Reincke:
Believes that Rush Limbaugh gives a balanced report of news
Tells ugly Chelsea jokes
Member of Young Americans for Freedom and College Republicans
Believes that American has lost its moral moorings, like more...

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.

Q: How many more...