Vote Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow.
    Department of Unusual Marketing: Johnson & Johnson has a continuing contract with a number of Web sites devoted to the stock market. When the stock market falls by at least 100 points, banner ads for the company's headache remedies appear on the sites.
    News Releases I Never Got Around to Finishing: "The recent U.S. presidential election left a number of people wondering if their vote really counts. But with GetMusic's new music video voting tool, Hot or Not, every vote matters. Launching today on GetMusic.com (www.get-music.com)... "
    Job Title of the Month: A Build-A-Bear Workshop is a retail chain that allows customers to design their very own stuffed bear. Maxine Clark is Chief Executive Bear.
    And speaking of animals, The You're Probably Not Surprised Award to rapper Snoop Dogg's new venture, a porn video called Doggystyle. While the Dogg performs in the video, he keeps his clothes on.
    Our Say What? more...

    According to a Syracuse University professor, liberals are losing their base because 80% of children vote as their parents vote and, "Conservatives have more children than liberals."
    He added, "Women hoping to preserve their abortion rights should do so by not exercising them."

    1. Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
    2. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Child a Dime!
    3. Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just isn't Good Enough.
    4. Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer!
    5. Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
    6. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Billionaire Behind
    7. Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism
    8. Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not Paying Attention
    9. Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast
    10. Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us!
    11. Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars
    12. Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil
    13. Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile
    14. Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
    15. Vote Bush in '04: Because Dictatorship is Easier
    16. George W. Bush: A Brainwave away from the Presidency
    17. George W. Bush: It Takes a Village Idiot
    18. Don't Think. Vote Bush!
    19. BU_ _SH_ _!

    1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show! 2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. 3. I'll finish what Bill started - the interns.4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right? 5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP. 6. I promise no sex scandal: just look at me. 7. New penal plan: I won't use mine! 8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense.

    A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."
    "Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you."

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