Lethal Jokes

PICCOLO: the minute dimensions of this weapon make it especially lethal as it is easily concealed and can be set off just about anywhere. As a solo weapon, this device emits a high-pitched squeal that directly targets the inner ear. The application of this tone temporarily disorients its intended victim rendering him unable to react. The natural reaction of covering one's ears to reduce the intense pain causes military personnel within a 100 yard radius to drop their weapons leaving them defenseless to further attack. Applied in concert with a second piccolo of slightly higher or lower pitch, the weapons produce the effect of an ice pick through the eardrum and may cause profuse bleeding of the aural cavity. These weapons are constructed in three forms; metal, composite materials, wood, or any combination of the three. The all-metal piccolos are especially lethal. The only countermeasure to this weapon is to apply psychological warfare in the following manner. Compliment the musician more...

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I`m referring to?"

"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to? ”
“You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea. ”
The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake. ”

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water."

She continued, "But, there is something that is perhaps more dangerous than anything else." The dietician peered into the crowd and asked, "Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

A handful of people in the audience raised their hands with possible answers.

"Yes, you, sir, in the first row," said the dietician. "Please give us your idea."

The man grinned and blurted, "Wedding cake!"