Leaflet Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
Sign on a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn’t work)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: Beware! i shoot every tenth trespasser and the ninth one has just left
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also
Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car

In a toilet of an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WILL THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
In an office lunchroom: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
In health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
In a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
At a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
In a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a leaflet: IF YOU CAN'T READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR; THE BELL more...

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR