Latkes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It was Chanukah and the Tiny Village was in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour. Rudi, the Rabbi was called upon to help solve the problem. He said, "Don't worry. You can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"
    Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Morty... you think it'll work?"
    "Of course! As everybody knows... Rudolph, the Reb, knows grain, dear!""

    'Twas the night before Chanukah, as it is said
    And Santa was sitting and hocking his head
    He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel
    For maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel
    The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly
    Like a crew of brave astronauts all through the sky
    But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel
    Some regular food that would stick to his beichel
    Not plum cakes or mincemeat or peppermint candy
    But some kosher cooking he thought would be dandy
    So he called to his reindeer, "Hey, kinder, let's go
    To a Jewish balbusta and don't be so slow."
    The house had no chimney, so he went through the door
    And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor
    Then the man of the house said, "Santa you devil
    Come on, don't be shy and see our split level
    The night is still early, there's plenty of zeit
    So come in the den and please have a bite
    If only we knew you were coming, more...

    It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not having any
    latkes because they had run out of flour.
    Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.
    He said, “Don’t worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour,
    and the latkes will be just as delicious! ”
    Sheila looks to her husband and says, “Morty, you think it’ll work? ”
    “Of course! Everybody knows Rudolph the Rab knows grain, dear! ”

    The Eight Days of Hanukkah

    On the first night of Hanukkah my true love gave to me
    Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

    On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
    2 Kosher pickles and
    Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

    On the third night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
    3 pounds of corned beef
    2 Kosher pickles and
    Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

    On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
    4 potato latkes
    3 pounds of corned beef
    2 Kosher pickles and
    Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

    On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
    5 bowls of chicken soup
    4 potato latkes
    3 pounds of corned beef
    2 Kosher pickles and
    Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

    On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
    6 pickled herrings
    5 bowls of chicken soup
    4 potato latkes
    3 pounds of corned beef
    2 more...

    It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour.

    Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.

    He said, "don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"

    Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Mortey...you think it'll work?" and Mortey says,

    "of course! Everybody knows.........................

    Rudolph, the Rab, knows grain dear!"

    ----
    Editor's Note: A variation on the theme where the Communist is explaining the weather and the comment is "Rudolf the Red know rain, dear."

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