Klaus Jokes

There's these two English blokes on a ski-ing trip, and one says to the other, whilst they're at the top of the hill, "What are we supposed to do, then?"
To which the other replies, "Well, you see those flags... we're suppose to zag-zig in between them."
"Don't you mean zig-zag?" says the other,
"No, zag-zig"...
Anyway so they argue for quite a while. About as long as it takes for people to get bored with moaning about Squiffy, when one says "We'll ask Klaus the Kraut. He'll know."
So off they go to Klaus and one says, "Tell me Klaus, me owd obergruppermeister, them flags... do we zig-zag or zag-zig?"
"Vell," says Klaus, "I tsink zat you zig-zag, but I don't care, I'm a tobogganist."
To which our lad says, "Oh great. I'll have 20 Malboro, then."

I have to get out of here," screamed Father Klaus from the confines of his tiny cell. "Please! Please! I can't stand it in here. I can't breathe. Please, won't somebody help me before the walls close in?" His pleading trailed off into the stale air of the monastery's damp stone halls.

Outside the bolted door, Fathers Pietro and Alberto shook their heads in pity. Father Klaus's condition had gradually worsened to the point where it became necessary to lock him away every time he had an attack. They were reluctant at first but when he threatened to jump from the belfry a few months ago, the monks were left with no choice.

Besides, none of them had any medical training so they would be unable to help their unfortunate comrade. Not that such training would have done any good. Father Klaus's condition was more psychological than physical and thus, required a completely different method of treatment. None of them felt qualified to delve into the deepest more...

There's these two English blokes on a ski-ing trip, and one says to the other, whilst they're at the top of the hill, "What are we supposed to do, then?"
To which the other replies, "Well, you see those flags. .. we're suppose to zag-zig in between them."
"Don't you mean zig-zag?" says the other,
"No, zag-zig". ..
Anyway so they argue for quite a while. About as long as it takes for people to get bored with moaning about Squiffy, when one says "We'll ask Klaus the Kraut. He'll know."
So off they go to Klaus and one says, "Tell me Klaus, me owd obergruppermeister, them flags. .. do we zig-zag or zag-zig?"
"Vell," says Klaus, "I tsink zat you zig-zag, but I don't care, I'm a tobogganist."
To which our lad says, "Oh great. I'll have 20 Malboro, then."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Klaus!
Klaus who?
Klaus as two sticks!