Jolly Jokes / Recent Jokes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Case Report:
Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome
Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no. 1, December 1997
Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M. D.
On January 2, 1997, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice office with complaints of generalized aches and pains, sore red eyes, depression, and general malaise. The patient's face was erythematic, and he was in mild respiratory distress, although his demeanor was jolly. He attributed these symptoms to being "not as young as I used to be, HO! HO! HO!", but thought he should have them checked out. The patient's occupation is delivering presents once a year, on December 25th, to many people worldwide. He flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, and gains access to homes via chimneys. He has performed this work for as long as he can remember. Upon examination and more...
Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password. ..
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
not AT&T.
From server so rapid
(not one on the more...
As the Jolly Green Giant could tell you, there's nothing like a good pea.
Whats fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!
What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!
10. He's jolly enough with out getting scared.
9. Still mourning the mysterious disappearance of his dive buddy, Frosty the Snowman, while diving in the Bahamas.
8. He hates it when his dry suit leaks and his fuzzy red woolies get wet.
7. Rudolph's nose shorts out under water.
6. His sleigh failed Coast Guard inspection.
5. He's nervous because great white sharks have made the "naughty" list for 25 years running.
4. Dry suits not available in "jolly old elf" sizes.
3. That big white beard makes it impossible to get a good seal on his mask.
2. It's hard to get 32 fins on those little reindeer feet.
1. His elf-produced wooden regulator is dangerous at depth.