Intent Jokes

For those of you who were unable to attend the awards dinner during the annual [American Academy of Forensic Sciences] meeting in San Diego, you missed a tall tale on complex forensics presented by AAFS President Don Harper Mills in his opening remarks. The following is a recount of Dr. Mills' story.

On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.)

As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to more...

Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child more...