Identify Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? Theyre always switching their tails!

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal.

Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked?

All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!

A glamorous blonde was asked by the bank teller to identify herself before he would cash her check.

She rummaged in her handbag, found a mirror, looked at herself in it, and said, "Oh yes. That's me all right."

It was finals week at the college. The students had filed into the
auditorium, and picked up their blue-books for the test. This particular
class had been in aviaian biology and identification. The professor
was known to give very difficult finals, and weighed them heavily in
the grade.
Looking down to the table in the front of the room, the students
saw several stands with stuffed and mounted birds. They could see that
they were birds, as the feet were visible below the burlap sacks that
had been placed over them. And beside each was a small sign with a
number.
The bell rang, the professor allowed a moment for the noise to die
down, and them addressed the class. "Today's final will count, as you
know, for a large percentage of the grade. But the directions for the
test are simple. You are to identify each of the birds on the table
before you. Write the number, and the latin and common name of the
creature associated more...

Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for.
Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange.
Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "No, it ain't Bubba. "
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two buttholes." "What? He had two buttholes?", said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town knew it. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two buttholes..."

You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers.
You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.
You put a Clapper on your headlights.

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal.
Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked?
All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!