Burnt Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bubba died in a fire and his body was burnt pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician asked, “How can you tell? ” Gomer said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes. ” “What? He had two assholes? ” said the mortician. “Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Bubba with them two assholes. ’

    Poor Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.
    Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem looked and said "Nope, ain't Clyde." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke to identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked down and said "No, it ain't Clyde."
    The mortician asked "How can you tell?" Zeke said, "Well, Clyde had two assholes." "What? He had two assholes?" said the mortician. Zeke said, "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say "Here comes Clyde with them two assholes."

    Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
    A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
    Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
    A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in! !
    Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
    A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! !
    Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
    A: Get out of my sun!!
    Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
    A: His other hand! !
    Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
    A: Throw him a buoy! !
    Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
    A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
    Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
    A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
    Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
    A: So his guests more...

    A blonde goes to a doctor and tells him that both her ears are burnt.' Sit down and tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.' Well, I was ironing my clothes when I received a phone call, and instead of picking the phone, I picked up the iron and burnt my ear!'' Okay, I see...But that's one ear - what about the other?'' They called again!!'

    A blonde goes to a doctor and tells him that both her ears are burnt.
    'Sit down and tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.
    'Well, I was ironing my clothes when I received a phone call, and instead of picking the phone, I picked up the iron and burnt my ear!'
    'Okay, I see...But that's one ear - what about the other?'
    'They called again!!'

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