Hippie Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Picking Up Nun's

    Hot 1 year ago

    A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The Hippie looks over and asks the Nun if she would have sex with him.
    The Nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets of at the next stop.
    When the bus starts on it's way the bus driver says to the hippie, "if you want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
    The hippie of course says that he'd love to know so the bus driver tells him that the every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," said the bus driver(male), "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
    Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun and right on schedule the nun shows up. When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. more...

    Crashing Plane

    Hot 9 months ago

    The Pope, a hippie, and George Bush were all on a plane that was crashing. The pilots had already jumped to safety and there were only two parachutes left. Without a moment's hesitation, Bush grabbed a pack, yelled "I'm the most powerful man in the universe! I have to survive!", and jumped from the plane.
    The Pope, being the generous man that he is, said to the hippie, "You go ahead and take the last parachute. I'm an old man and I have lived a very full life."
    The hippie thanked the Pope but said, "Don't worry - we'll both be fine. The most powerful man in the universe just jumped off the plane with my backpack."

    The Nun and the Hippie

    Hot 1 year ago

    A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
    The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
    The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the Lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
    The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of God. "I am God, I have heard more...

    Two hippies were waiting at the bus stop along with a nun with her leg in
    a cast. The first hippie asked "Sister, how did you break you leg?" "I
    slipped in the bathtub." The second hippie asked the first "What's a bathtub?"
    "How should I know, I'm not Catholic!"
    Bill Kennedy {cbosgd | ihnp4! petro | sun! texsun! rrm}! ssbn! bill

    A business man was driving along when he spotted a hippie thumbing for a ride. He stopped to pick him up. The hippie sat in the front of the car, bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
    The business man approached a stop sign and couldn't see clearly to his right, so he asked the hippie if there was anything coming from the right.
    "Just a dog, man..just a dog"
    So the business man pulled out and CRASH!!
    A few days later the business man woke up in a hospital with his arms and legs hung in traction. He looked over and saw the hippie in the bed next to him, his arms and legs also suspended in traction - still bopping and snapping his fingers to some beat in his head.
    The business man asked, "Hey, I thought you said there was just a dog coming from the right!?"
    Said the hippie, still snapping his fingers in rhythm, "Yeah man, like Greyhound! man..."

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