A pilot and his four passengers were on an airplane that was about to crash. The four passengers were Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, a hippie, and old man. Unfortunately, there were only four parachutes on the plane.
The pilot yelled, "I'm the pilot!" and jumped off with one of the parachutes.
Michael Jordan said, "I'm the world's greatest athlete!" and jumped off with another parachute.
Bill Clinton said, "I am the world's smartest man!" and jumped out of the plane. This left the hippie and the old man alone in the rapidly-descending airplane.
"I'm old," said the old man, "so you can have the last parachute."
"Nah, that's okay, man," the hippie said. "The world's smartest man just jumped out with my backpack."
Abraham is an old Jewish man who is a yarn merchant. He lives next door to the biggest anti-Semite in town. One day the anti-Semite calls up Abraham and says,' Hey Jew!!!... I need a piece of orange yarn. The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and more...
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church.
Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan more...
A Cuban, a Japaneze guy, an American and a Mexican are in a boat.
The Cuban pulls out a box of cigars, takes one and throws the rest
in the water. He puffs twice and throws it in the water.
He says, "We have so many cigars in cuba, we can spare more...
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace the aging doctor there. The older doctor suggested that the younger doctor accompany him as he made his house calls so that the people of the community could become accustomed to him.
At the first house they visited, more...