Hike Jokes / Recent Jokes

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
All the mile markers are missing this year.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate more...

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.All the mile markers are missing this year.Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.A small deer came into my more...

The Bridger Wilderness Area asks hikers in this pristine area to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers.
Trail needs to be reconstructed.Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call ___ ___ ____.
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
Need more signs to keep area pristine.
A McDonalds would be nice at the more...

A man decided to go for a hike in the mountains, but when he got to the beginning of the trail, he was confronted by an old Indian who told him, "There are birds up in the mountains called Foo's and they love flying right into people, and it hurts like hell. But if any of them hits you, do not, i repeat, DO NOT swear, because if you do, a whole flock will come and attack you."

So the man continued his hike, and all of a sudden, he was hit in the forehead by a Foo, and he said, "OOOWWWW! Geez, that hurt!" But he remembered what the Indian said, and he didn't swear.

A few minutes later, he was hit by another Foo in the exact same spot, but he still didn't swear.

He continued his hike once again, and he was hit by a gigantic Foo. This time he swore, "AWW SHIT, DAMNIT THAT FU*KIN HURTS!" and suddenly, a whole flock of Foo's flew to him and starting hitting him and scratching him and pecking him. Soon, he was more...

Two boy scouts went on a nature hike in the hills picking hickory nuts.
Along the way, they filled their small pails and then started to fill their pockets and shirts.
When they could hold no more nuts, they started down the country road until they came across a cemetery. The boys decided that would be a good place to stop and rest and divide out the nuts.
The two boys sat in the shade of a large oak tree and unloaded their pockets and buckets by dumping all of the nuts in a large pile.
In the process, two of them rolled away and rested near the road. The boys then proceeded to divide out the nuts. "One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me."
As they were doing this, another boy was passing by and happened to hear them. He looked into the cemetery, but could not see the boys, because they were obscured by the tree. He hesitated a moment and then ran back to town.
"Father! Father!" he yelled as

clever creatures
A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while attempting to lure a ground
squirrel by dangling the keys out in front of the critter. The squirrel grabbed the keys and ran down
a hole with them. The keys were never retrieved, a ranger cited the man for harassment of wildlife,
and a locksmith was called to make new car keys.
putting our loved ones at risk for a photo
In May of 1994, Tony Moore, 43, of Marietta, Georgia, was gored and seriously injured by a large male
bison in Yellowstone, next to the Lake Hotel. Moore and a friend had approached to within 15 feet of
the bison to have their pictures taken. While they were standing with their backs to the animal, it
charged. Moore's companion escaped, but Moore received a severe puncture wound in his right thigh and
was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Jackson for treatment.
watching for falling rocks
A visitor setting up camp at Lake more...