An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...
A man teed off from the seventh hole of his favorite golf course and wound up in a sand trap.
He went to retrieve his ball and found a leprechaun in the sand trap. "Well, you've found me, laddy," said the leprechaun. "I'll grant you one wish - either a year of great golf or a year of great sex."
Without hesitation the man responded, "A year of great golf."
And he enjoyed a whole year of professional grade golf. After the year ended, though, he went back to his terrible scores of before.
Again on his favorite course, he again wound up in the same sand trap and again found the same
leprechaun. The leprechaun promised to grant him one wish - with exactly the same choice as before, great golf or great sex.
Without any hesitation the man asked for "A year of great golf."
The leprechaun was astounded. "Laddie, you look like a red-blooded man. I don't understand why more...
Once upon a time three people were stranded out at sea - A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast they would all die. The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo - CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief.
The Japanese said, "Don't worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!" But the boat was still sinking. The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, "Don't worry.. still have a lot more in my country, paknya". But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn't swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. Said the Malaysian, "Don't more...