Flatulance Jokes

An example of a linguistic faux pas: A man broke wind somewhat loudly in mixed company. Overcome with embarrassment he stuttered:' Sorry, it was a slip of the tongue.'

Each and every time he broke wind, the word honda would flutter from the man's behind. Going to the doctor, he demonstrated this phenomenon which, much to his surprise, didn't foze the doctor in the least.
Going round to the man's mouth, the physician found an abscessed tooth, which he promptly pulled. At once the man's problem was solved.
"That's amazing!" said the patient. "But tell me, how did you know what to do?"
"Simple," answered the doctor. "Everyone knows that abscess makes the fart go' honda.

Mr. Youngman was brought to the lounge of the nursing home to await his son. Since he was especially frail, the nurse was never far from his side.
As it happened, at least once every minute the ninety-year-old would tilt slightly to one side; as soon as he did so, the nurse' hurried over and straightened him right up.
Finally Mr. Youngman's son Bob arrived.
"Well, pop," he said, "how're they treating you here?"
He replied, "The food's fine and the accomo-dations are even better-but there is one thing."
"What's that?"
Cocking his eyes over his shoulder, he said, "It's that sonofabitchin' nurse over there. He won't let me fart!"

Q: Why do women break wind after they urinate?
A: They can't shake it, so they blow-dry it.

Q: Why do forts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.