Federline Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr. Spears announced he will write an autobiography so people will have a better understanding of who he is. Federline will write the book as part of a Learning Annex class he's taking called, "Autobiography Writing For Talentless Douchebags With Nothing To Say."

According to the managers of the Chicago House of Blues, attractive down syndrome victim, Kevin Federline took a Sharpie marker and wrote the following message on a dressing room mirror "Today I'm a free man. Ladies look out. Fuck a wife. Give me my kids bitch." - K.Federline. With writing skills like this it makes you wonder why his album sales have done so poorly. Being out sold by such discs like Mike Tyson's "Songs to Rape To" and Stephen Hawking's single "The Twelve Days of Christmas".
It has been reported that after the discovery of K-Fed's (I feel dirty just from typing that) deep message, he has been tapped to replace Daniel McGoarty as President Bush's head speech writer.

...Kevin Federline reportedly has been offered $1 million to lose weight after tipping the scales at 235 lbs. Federline will earn the money if he can lose 45 lbs. Britney Spears will double it if he loses the other 190.

Kevin Federline was in Times Square yesterday to be the first to sign the "Save the Penny" petition, which is going to be presented to lawmakers in DC who are thinking about getting rid of the penny. I think I know why Kevin likes the penny so much. It's the only thing on Earth more useless than he is.

Kevin Federline, national punchline and Britney's bitch, announced yesterday that he is launching his own record label, Federation Records, and his album, Playing with Fire, will be the company's first official release. The second single off the album will be lip-sync'd live at the Teen Choice Awards, because teens have always been known for their good choices. Federline hopes that the single, "Lose Control" will fare better than "PapoZao", which Federline says was released as a joke, and designed to draw people to his Myspace page and his music career. Coincidently, that's the same reason why Britney married Federline.