Elevator Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume.
She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator with her and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume.
She arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.
Before she leaves she looks both beautiful women in the eyes, turns, bends over, and farts. "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."
A blonde walks on an elevator and there is 1 other man on there and the blonde says "T.G.I.F." and the man replied "S.H.I.T." then they argued about the words and finally the blonde says thank gosh its friday and the man replies sorry hun its thursday.
A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator. It stops on the fourth floor and a man gets in who looks perfect... good looking, well built, nicely dressed. Unfortunately, in addition to noticing how attractive he is, both girls also notice his bad case of dandruff.
When the man gets off the elevator on the second floor and the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Gosh, that guy sure was a hunk, but someone should give him Head and Shoulders."
"That sounds like a good idea," replies the blonde, "but how do you give shoulders?"
A man and a woman met in an elevator. "Where are you headed today?" the man asked. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "Oh, about $20." "Wow," said the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman then walked off angrily. The next day, the man and woman met at the elevator once again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she said with her mouth full.
A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator."Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven." "I'm sorry but we have our rules," replies St. Peter.And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to more...
Two Men were in the Elevator, as the door opens the one man said to the other, I want to GO UP not down and the other man replied DONT WE ALL!
One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself." Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an law firm partner make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the woman." Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind... I prefer to stay in Heaven", replied the woman." Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the law partner in an elevator and which slowly descended to the depths of Hell. When the doors opened, much to more...