Dixie Jokes

The new documentary "Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing" has been picked up for worldwide distribution by the Weinstein Co. The film revolves around the aftermath of singer Natalie Maines' inflammatory statement at a 2003 London concert.

When President Bush was asked for his response to Maines' statement that "we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas," he responded by saying "What a coincidence - I'm from Texas too!"

This homeless guy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey."

The bartender says, "I'll have to see your money first."

"I'm broke, sonny, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart dixie!"

The bartender had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees. The homeless guy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage and the audience starts applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience starts cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and everyone gets disgusted and leaves.

The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart dixie! Not shit all over my stage!"

The guy replies, "Hey! Even Bob Dylan has to clear his throat before he sings!"