Betty Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lots of toungue twisters

    Hot 4 years ago

    Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

    A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

    A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

    Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

    Unique New York.

    Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

    So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

    Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

    Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

    A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

    The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

    Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

    One more...

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania.

    They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It's late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car.

    Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding.

    Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

    Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.

    A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and more...

    A farmer had three beautiful daughters and all of them had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.
    The first boy arrived and said, "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"
    The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.
    The second boy arrived and said, "Hi, I'm Moe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?"
    The farmer called Flo and she and Moe went on their way.
    The third boy arrived in an old, beat up pick-up, came to the door and said, "Hi, I'm Chuck"
    The farmer shot him.

    A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat dinner, and sit some more - would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, 'Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?' Her husband snarled, 'What do I look like? The tidy-bowl man?' and sat down on the sofa.
    The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, 'Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?' Once again, he growled, 'What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?'
    The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, 'Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?' And again was met with a snarl, 'What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?'
    Finally, she had had more...

    Betty Brelia wanted a Tatoo and ask her husband if he would mind. He told her to go ahead.
    So she went to a tatoo parlor and had a large "B" tatooed on each cheek of her rear.
    When she returned home she was eager to show her husband, so she bent over and pulled her pants down.
    She asked her husband how he like it... and he replied, "Who the hell is Bob"?

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