Six key indicators of when the honeymoon period has finished.
Before: You tell her you don't mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you've taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly over.
After: For the fifth night in a row you stagger in blotto, dig out your stash and mull up, pass out in the lounge in your underpants and expect her to accept that you're just being you.
2. Bodily functions
Before: You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the side of the bowl to reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence.
After: You fart in front of her with impunity and obvious pride, commenting on the food intake for the day and speculating on the resultant odour. Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
Before: Her aunty Jane is a real character with a lively personality and more...
What 3 words are in the name Amanda?
A, man, DUH!!
Kathy and Amanda hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. Afterwards, the talk got around to their respective love lives.
Kathy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life.
Amanda, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!"
Kathy said, "He said' will you marry me'?"
Amanda said, "No, he said' put your money away'!"
Knock Knock Who's there! Amanda! Amanda who? Amanda the table!
Knock KnockWhos there! Amanda! Amanda who? Amanda the table!