Danger Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa: What should we do? The water level has risen above the danger mark.
Banta: Raise the danger level mark up by a few meters.
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents!
Research shows that the greatest fear held by 93.75% of all men is not death, but castration; Remove that fear at an early age! go fearless into manhood!
Everyone knows that pre-pubic boys have the most beautiful singing voice (*); preserve that beautiful voice forever. Share the wisdom of the Vatican, who kept choirs of castrati for centuries before modern prejudices forbad them.
Have a castrectomy now and save the bother of a vasectomy (and possibly a reverse-vasectomy) later; the sooner and younger it is done, the least cost and embarassment; no need for condoms or the male pill; no danger of venereal diseases and reduced danger of aids.
Eliminate the temptations of extra-marital affairs and flings which can bring nothing but unhappiness in the long run.
You will never, ever, be accused of rape; what can't speak, can't lie.
Have no fears about being called a lousy lover by your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend.
Play vigorous sports such as soccer without fear; more...
TRUMPET: Obviously one would think that a trumpeter's greatest weapon is his ability to play high notes at great volume. This misconception has been perpetuated unwittingly by great performers like Maynard Ferguson and Dizzy Gillespie. The danger is not in the player who can play high. The danger lies in the player who THINKS he can play high. A young player's incessant caterwauling and inflated ego are a danger to himself and all those around him. The most effective counter measure is to allow the player to continue his high note practice (even encourage him to go higher and louder) until his lips explode or he cracks a tooth jamming his face into the mouthpiece.
FRENCH HORN: French horns thankfully are a danger only to a small group of people, as their bells point in the wrong direction. They are only a danger to those unfortunate enough to have to sit behind them. Their intonation problems and constant cracking of pitches is of great annoyance to those brass players sitting behind them. Though lately the introduction of Plexiglas reflectors has reduced the danger to those behind the horns, unfortunately it presents a greater danger to the players themselves and those in front of them. Upon hearing their actual tones coming back at them, some hornists have been known to actually vomit on stage due to the hideousness of their own tone.
Once Banta Ji Said To Santa Ji The Water Is Coming Above The Danger Mark.
Santa Ji Said," Put The Danger Mark Above The Water."
There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from the hills, and devour one of the villagers. The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik.
Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers. He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins love to eat loons. So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then had the villagers dig a deep pit. Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the Medicrin, and slay it.
That night, the Medicrin came... It smelled the loon... But it also smelled DANGER, and it ran off, devouring one of the villagers on the way out.
After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that more...