Crab Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Crabs

    Hot 5 years ago

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

    A male crab and a female lobster are dating, but they are hiding it from their parents because of the obvious reason. Eventually the lobster gets tired of all the secrecy and she tells her father, who is furious and forbids her to see the crab again.

    "But why can`t I see the crab again? We`re in love!" cries the lobster.
    "Because," says the father, trying to search for a reasonable answer, "crabs walk sideways and we walk straight!"
    "Please, father," she begs. "Just meet him once and I`m sure you will change your mind."
    The father finally agrees to meet the crab and she runs our to tell him the good news.
    The crab is so excited that he practices walking straight. He practices and practices until finally he can walk straight. He walks the entire way to the lobster`s house as straight as he can.
    The father sees him coming and yells to his daughter, "Hey, here comes that crab and he`s drunk!"

    Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
    night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
    would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
    Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
    was 2 scrawny pigeon.
    Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
    Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
    eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
    Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
    Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
    rooster.
    Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
    four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
    da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
    rest of dem to the gators.
    Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

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