Crab Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Crabs

    Hot 2 years ago

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

    I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents'
    house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a
    non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.
    I thought my mother and by date would hit it off like partridges
    and pear trees.

    So, I was wrong.

    Sue me.

    I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the
    invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I
    told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun
    on Christmas Eve."

    "Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

    I had only known by mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be
    bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really
    looking forward to meeting all of you."

    "Sounds fine to me," my mother said.

    And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's.
    What more...

    Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

    "We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.

    "Why?" gasped Declan.

    "Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

    Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

    Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The more...

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

    A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming toward her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
    Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
    The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
    He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!".

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