Blank Jokes / Recent Jokes

I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.' Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied,' I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?'' Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.' No, just this remote' thingy,'' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,' Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk.'

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Tech Support:' What does the screen say now.'

Person:' It says,' Hit ENTER when ready'.'

Tech Support:' Well?'

Person:' How do I know more...

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Tow pupils were fighting outside the examination hall. The Teacher came out and said: why are you fighting?.

One student: Teacher he left his answer sheet blank.

Teacher: Why should that bother you?.

Student: I too left my answer sheet blank.

Teacher: So. . . . . ?

Student: You will think that we have copied from each other.

REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICAL

    I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.   The person whoanswered said, "Bob is on vacation.   Would you like to hold?"
    I worked with an individual who plugged theirpower strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why theircomputer would not turn on.
"Do you know anythingabout this fax-machine?"
"A little.   What'swrong?"
"Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient calledback to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.   I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
"How did you load the sheet?"
"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it byaccident. So I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."
    I recently saw a distraught young lady weepingbeside her car.   "Do you need some help?" I asked.
"I knew I should have more...

There is one big difference between genius and stupidity; genius has limits.

Things are more like today than they ever were before.

Things could be worse; suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.

Things get worse under pressure.

Things go right so they can go wrnog.

Thinking is hard work. One can`t bear burdens and ideas at the same time.

This "law" has been intentionally left blank.

This "law" was inadvertently left blank.

This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists and not enough hunchbacks.

This space for rent.

1. What is height of Fashion?
- Dhoti with a zip.
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2. What is height of Secrecy?
- Offering blank visiting cards.
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3. What is height of Active laziness?
- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
- Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him/her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
-A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
- A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of Suicide?
- A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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9. What is height of De-hydration?
- A cow giving milk powder.

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try."Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. He tried again. "Behold, I come quickly." Still nothing.He tried one more time - speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.The young preacher apologized profusely. "That's all right, young man," said the little old lady. "It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!"