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    What I Want In A Man!

    Hot 2 years ago

    (Age 22)
    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially successful
    4. A caring listener
    5. Witty
    6. In good shape
    7. Dresses with style
    8. Appreciates the finer things
    9. Full of thoughtful surprises
    10. An imaginative, romantic lover
    (Age 32)
    1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
    2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
    4. Listens more then he talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
    6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
    9. Remembers anniversaries
    10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week
    (Age 42)
    1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK
    2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion
    4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
    5. Usually remembers the punch line of more...

    ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)
    Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
    Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
    Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Un-employed
    Spouse's Name: __________________________
    Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet
    Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___
    Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
    Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
    Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
    ___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ more...

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. more...

    The group shared their favorites. Windows that crack or melt into a
    slag heap. The MacIntosh IBM DOS emulator that, when fired up,
    begins to put up a zippy MacIntosh screen, stops halfway down the
    screen to declare, "Oops? Sorry. You wanted 1950s technology." It
    then goes into command line mode. The supposed unused ROM hook in
    the Mac that would have caused a monkey to dance across the screen
    ONCE upon the 7698th (or whatever) boot of the machine. Insects
    crawling around the screen.
    As you read this, project programmers in ski-masks are already coding
    up:
    ELUSIVE MENU: When the mouse cursor enters such menus, the menus
    dodge away while insulting the user with appropriate language and
    gestures. Somebody informed us this is just like the Mac Bomb
    program.
    CRASHING WINDOWS: You begin to move a window. Suddenly it
    accelerates out of your control up toward the corner of the screen.
    When it reaches the corner, it more...

    1. Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using
    this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this
    exam for you.
    2. History: Describe the history of the papacy from its originas to the
    present day, concentrating on its social, political, economic,
    religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, America, Asia, and
    Africa. Be brief and concise, yet specific.
    3. Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and
    given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system
    has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the
    problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.
    4. Pre-Med: You will be provided with a rusty razor blade, a piece of
    gauze, and a full bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Don't
    suture until your work as been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
    5. Public Speaking: Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aboriginies are
    storming the more...

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