Biting Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny was 12 years old and, like other boys his age, was rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from older boys and he wondered what it was like and how it was done.
One day he asked his mother who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, his mother told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mom. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile then he turned off most of the lights. He then started hugging and kissing her."
"I figured Sis must be getting sick because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would do. He was not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to be having trouble finding it."
"I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon both of more...

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He
had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he
wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question
mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny,
she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described
EVERYTHING to his mother. "
Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while,
then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging
her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking
funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse
to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he
was getting sick too, because more...

Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about' courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.' Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and gettin all more...

Little Jonny Again.
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Little Johnny was 10 years old and like other boys his age, he was rather
curious about everything. He had been hearing quite a bit about' courting'
from the older boys at school, and he wondered what it was, and how it was
done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night, and watch his older sister and her boyfriend, who she
explained were "courting."

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his
mother, in great detail.

"Well, Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis
must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have
thought so more...

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth."

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." It is illegal to gargle in public places.
New Orleans You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

' 'Heavyweight Chomp'' - Philadelphia Inquirer.
' 'Undisputed Chomp'' - USA TODAY.
' 'World Chomp'' - The Sun (London).
' 'Requiem for a Chompion'' - Philadelphia Daily News.
' 'Sucker Munch'' - The Sun (London).
' 'Biting Back: Evander has public's ear'' - Daily News, New York.
' 'Toss Tyson Out on Ear'' - Daily News, New York.
' 'Ear Flap'' - Newsday.
' 'Ears Have It! Evander Wins'' - Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser.
' 'Tyson's Behavior Hard to Swallow'' - Providence Journal-Bulletin.
' 'Dracula'' - New York Post.
' 'Champ Chewing Over Legal Options'' - New York Post.
' 'It's Tyson's Nature to (Ch)eat'' - New York Post.
' 'For Tyson, Tooth Hurts'' - New York Post.
' 'Now Ear This: Rematch is Possible'' - New York Post.
' 'Lobe Blow for Boxing'' - The Tennessean.
' 'Iron Mike Goes Down Biting'' - The Sunday Oklahoman.
' 'Tyson Doesn't Gnaw What's Next'' - The Daily Oklahoman.
' 'Ear of Scorn'' - more...