Antelope Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers. "Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?" If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do crossword puzzles until retirement. Most jobs,
    however, will require some work.There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and, 2. Going to meetings.Your ultimate career strategy will be to get a job involving primarily No. 2, going to meetings, as soon as possible, because
    that's where the real prestige is. It is all very well and good to be able to take phone messages, but you are never going to get a position of power, a position where you can cost thousands of people their jobs with a single bonehead decision, unless you more...

    What does a lion call a antelope? Fast food. Sent by jessica

    To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers.
    "Hi," you should say. "I'm a new employee. What is the name of my job?"
    If they answer "long-range planner" or "lieutenant governor," you are pretty much free to lounge around and do crossword puzzles until retirement. Most jobs,
    however, will require some work.
    There are two major kinds of work in modern organizations:
    1. Taking phone messages for people who are in meetings, and,
    2. Going to meetings.
    Your ultimate career strategy will be to get a job involving primarily No. 2, going to meetings, as soon as possible, because
    that's where the real prestige is. It is all very well and good to be able to take phone messages, but you are never going to get a position of power, a position where you can cost thousands of people their jobs with a single more...

    Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious.
    In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. IT GOES ON.
    Accept than some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
    There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
    There is no right way to do the wrong thing.
    The best vitamin for making friends: B1.
    Knowledge is like a garden; if it is not cultivated, it cannot be harvested.
    Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
    If you can't be the tablecloth, don't be the dishrag.
    I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, more...

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