Alaskan Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska. So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan. The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her." The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it. He comes back a week later beaten to shit." What happened to you?" said the barman." I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!

The fully fledged alaskan
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."
The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
"What happened to you?" said the barman.
"I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!

An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Alaska arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Texas woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Alaskan woodpecker was in awe. The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan woodpecker to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been able to peck successfully. The Alaskan woodpecker was confident that he could do it.
After flying to Texas and sucessfully pecking the tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't figure out why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Alaskan tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to peck the Texan tree, when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state.
After thinking for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.