700 Jokes

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from USA, another from India, and the third from Sri Lanka. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living.
When they all replied that they were contractors the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So to the back fence they all went.
First to step up was the amarican contractor. He took out his tape, measured and pulled out the palm top, did some calculations and said, "Well I figure the job will run about 900 dollars. 400 for materials, 400 for my crew, and 100 profit for me."
Next was the Indian contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for 700. 300 for materials, 300 for my crew, and 100 profit for me."
Without doing any measuring and calulations, the Sri Lankan contractor more...

Three contractors. . . One from Pakistan, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor: takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900. . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."
The German contractor: also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Pakistani contractor doesn`t measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: " $2, 700."
The official incredulously says, "You didn`t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"Easy," the Pakistani explains, "$1, 000 for you, $1, 000 more...