30 Jokes

1) SIMPLE DUTIES-
You go out to buy her flowers: +5
But return with beer: -5
You check out a suspicious noise at night: You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5 You pummel it with a six iron: +10 It's her cat: -10

2) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is a dancer: -6
Tiffany has implants: -8

3) SATURDAY AFTERNOONS-
You visit her parents: +1
You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3 And the television is off: -6 You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear:-6 And you didn't even go to college: -10 And it's not really your underwear: -15

4) HER BIRTHDAY-
You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her more...

This is for the guys...
Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose
them) from their gals from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep
Score" from Men's Health Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115,
along with some things that are just expected of guys,
therefore having a score of zero:
Simple Duties
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings: +5
But return with beer: -5
You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It's her father: -10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is a dancer: -6
Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons
You visit her more...